


Blue

by GeekLibrarian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, He/She-Reader, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:47:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4667079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLibrarian/pseuds/GeekLibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a sour victory in a hunt, Y/N and the boys go to a bar looking to clear their minds, but Dean proposes a game Y/N is unable to reject, something Cas doesn't like at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue

Finding a booth for the four of you wasn’t hard, everyone was in the counter trying to seize the happy hour.

It was a Friday, that you could tell, because of the signs and the crowded bar. Everything else was a blur. It had been a bad week, nothing had gone right and in the end, though you were all alive and the changeling was dead, well… you weren’t on the mood to think about it. None of you.

“I’ll go get us some beers…” Sam said in a low voice.

“Make it a bottle of Jack.” You and Dean said at once, and you almost smiled.

You sat next to Cas and curled up against him, looking for comfort, but today not even the warmth your angel could give you was going to take your head out of the memories of the day.

“I need to get drunk fast.” You cried into his shoulder.

“Well, actually having the intent of being drunk makes your mind and body ready to accept the intoxication state faster.” Cas said absently, looking out of the window, he was severely affected too, you could tell.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve shot out a fact that’s actually helpful, Cas.” Dean sighed, moving to the side as Sam returned with the bottle and four little glasses.

 He poured them and handed them out, so you sat straight and grab it, holding it up without a word, the other three followed you, and all of you emptied your glasses in one sip.

“That’s way better.” You said, pouring a second one, and filling Dean’s as well. “Sam?”

“Yeah…” he handed you the glass and looked mindlessly to the crowd. “Just one more.”

You filled his glass and Cas’ and you all emptied them again, without a word.

“I- I think I’m gonna head back to the motel.” Sam said after a couple of minutes of deadly silence.

“Okay, be careful.” Dean answered and then looked at you and Castiel “What about you two?”

“I’m not nearly drunk enough to even think about going back to that mess.” You answered, thinking about the board you had pinned in the door of the cupboard. “Cas?”

“I’ll stay as long as you want to stay.”

“That’s it? You’re not going to try and convince me out of drinking?”

“Sometimes, drinking alcohol seems like the only answer.” He said, and your heart broke a little, realizing how much pain he was enduring, not having been able to save those kids.

You squeezed his hands in yours and lay your head in his shoulder.

“Fine.”

\----------------

Two hours and another bottle of Jack Daniels later, you and Dean were drunk enough to be laughing hard at some stupid joke you couldn’t even remember. Cas was smiling, his eyes sparkling at the sight of your carefree self.

“That girl over there is looking at you Dean” you meant to whisper and failed.

He turned around and looked back at you.

“I think she’s looking at you, though.” He laughed, and you blushed. “I bet you, you don’t have the guts to get her number.”

It was the tone in his voice that raised from the depths of your soul the spirit of competition.

“Well, I bet you I _can_.” You said, and stood up with determination.

“Y/N…” Cas said, frowing his brow a little.

“Don’t worry hon, it’s just a game.” And you walked straight to the redheaded woman that was now blushing.

And that’s how it started, the war of the telephone numbers, between you and Dean. Of course, you got the lady’s number, _and_ the number of the guy that was standing next to her overhearing your conversation; so Dean wouldn’t let it go away, and soon enough you were mixed with everyone else, pretending seriousness, noting numbers, and laughing internally.

You mind was all gone from the angst of the hunt, but also from everything else, and, lost in the game, you failed to see the veil crossing Castiel’s gaze.

And it wasn’t until you went back to your table to brag about how you were going to win, that you realized he wasn’t there anymore. All the drowsiness disappeared and your mind went from drunk to sober in the blink of an eye as you turned around to look for him, hoping he was back in the counter, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Cas?” you whispered, but he didn’t came to you.

“What’s wrong?” a very concerned and very drunk Dean asked, grabbing you by the shoulder.

“Cas’ gone.”

“Oh…” he stood a bit more straight and looked at you with guilty eyes. “I was… If you want…”

You realized then there was a pretty girl standing right behind him, waiting with a nervous smile.

“No, it’s okay! Go ahead. I’ll… I’ll just get back to the motel.” And then added in a low voice “Good luck!”

Dean smiled and didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed the hand of the girl and walked away from you. You took a deep breath and picked your jacket from the bench where you had left it, and walked out into the cool night.

“Cas?” you tried again, and again no one answered. “I don’t want to walk back alone…”

“I’d never leave you alone, you know that.” His cold voice sounded at your back and you turned around quickly.

He was angry, you could see it in his eyes, in his furrowed brow, in the way he was opening and closing his hands.

“I’m sorry.”

He stood there, looking at you with those piercing eyes of his, but it was too overwhelming for you and you lowered your gaze to the floor, feeling guilty.

“I understand.” He said finally, and you looked up again in surprise.

“What?”

“I- I want you to know I understand why you played that game. You needed the freedom and regularity of common life. I understand I’m not… a regular partner…”

“No, Cas, that’s not…”

“Let me finish.” He snapped, and you stopped talking. “I understand. But it still hurts. It makes me… angry. And… anxious. It makes me angry and anxious to see you talking to other people the way you…” he twisted his hands and looked up, looking for words “The way you used to talk to me when we weren’t together.”

Your hands were covering your mouth and tears were crawling in your eyes.

“I still talk to you like that!” you defended yourself, knowing it wasn’t true.

“No, you don’t, Y/N.”

You sighed, trying to maintain eye contact.

“I know. I’m sorry… But please, don’t think that I don’t care about you!”

“I don’t.” he said simply, tilting his head. Something in his expression changed but you weren’t quite sure about what it was.

“I’m happy with you. I don’t care you’re not a ‘regular partner’” you draw the quoting marks in the air with your fingers “I love that you’re not… I…”

You took a deep breath trying to push down the knot that was forming in your throat, like every time before you had wanted to put in words what that angel meant to you. Hesitantly you took a step forward, a couple of tears fighting in the corner of your eyes to get free, and grabbed his hands softly, almost groping his disposition towards you, and felt relief when he didn’t withdraw.

“I love you, Cas.” You whispered with your gaze fixed in his fingers, and watched them tighten around yours.

“Y/N…” his voice was soft now but still you couldn’t look up, so he freed from your grasp one hand and pushed your head up by your chin, softly.

His eyes trapped you instantly, so blue and bright and sparkling, so intense and smiling and fixed on you.

“I love you.” You repeated automatically.

“Y/N, I love you too.” He chuckled, as if it was a relevant piece of information.

“I’m sorry. I promise…” you never got to finish the sentence.

He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer, leaning down to seal your lips with his, sending shivers down your spine. And that was all you needed for the remaining bits of guilt and angst to disappear. You stood in tiptoes and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing yourself against him, the world disappearing around you.

“So…” he said, pressing his forehead against yours once you parted “Did you win?”

“Oh you bet I did!”

“I knew you would.” He smiled, and kissed you again.

**Author's Note:**

> I read this like a thousand times, but if you ever find a pronoun not neutral please tell me so I can change it. It's just sometimes those things slip my attention.


End file.
